The Most Important Skill Simon Sinek Says He Learned as a Young Leader

An outdated leadership style will only hold you back. Learn to ask for help.

By Juan M. Fernandez

In the high-stakes world of professional sports, I've often seen leaders feel the pressure to present themselves as infallible, unerring, and flawless. I've seen coaches act as if they needed everyone to know they hold the playbook for every possible scenario, and athletes constantly feel the urge to justify their mistakes, not to have to accept their imperfections. 

On the one hand, that's an unrealistic image, as no one holds all the answers to anything. Additionally, I've now seen this pattern repeat itself outside of the sports world, into an equally challenging corporate and business environment. This traditional image of the all-knowing leader is widespread, yet increasingly misaligned with the realities of today's dynamic demands. 

Simon Sinek, a best-selling author and inspirational speaker on business leadership, provides unique insights through his vast experience dealing with this type of narrative firsthand and challenges this age-old view while advocating for a model grounded in humility, emotional intelligence, and the willingness to seek help.

Drawing from my journey through the competitive realms of professional basketball and coaching, I've closely witnessed the unique power of vulnerability in leadership. Like Sinek, I learned that the true measure of a leader is in their courage to ask for help with confidence.

The power of emotional intelligence and vulnerability

Emotional intelligence and vulnerability are at the top of this leadership revolution. Neuroscience tells us that the best leaders are those who don't try to hide their weak spots and embrace their flaws instead. This emotional openness gives room for genuine connections, creating an environment where asking for help is seen as a strategic move toward collective success.

"The most important lesson I learned as a young leader was that I didn't have to know all the answers or even pretend that I did," Sinek said recently in a powerful social media post. "And the biggest skill that I learned, that profoundly changed the trajectory of my career, was to have the courage to ask for help with confidence."

In the world of sports, admitting you don't have all the answers can be daunting. Yet in those moments of candidness--acknowledging my gaps and seeking help--I always found growth opportunities for myself and my team. Yes, it involved putting my ego aside, which is a difficult task for most of us, but the reward always turned out to be much greater than the illusory thought of a potential embarrassment or loss of credibility. These experiences mirrored Sinek's insights, suggesting that vulnerability can, paradoxically, be a leader's greatest strength.

In another powerful social media post, successful investor, podcaster, and entrepreneur Steven Bartlett said, "My hypothesis to life and business is that I don't have any answers. But I believe in my ability to know how to find those answers." Sometimes, finding those answers involves asking the people around you for help. As Sinek said, you don't have to know it all.

How to ask for help

Asking for help is an art form that requires both confidence and clarity. Through my coaching practice, I guide my clients, particularly athletes, toward reinforcing this skill by showing them that seeking help and support is about leveraging the team's collective expertise. When they're able to shift their perspective and look at help-seeking as a way to strengthen the group's cohesion and resilience, it's as if an entirely new world of opportunity opens up in front of them. In this regard, clear communication skills are a crucial ability to develop.

The practice of implementing regular "team huddles" is a good additional way to promote an environment in which everyone can express their true feelings and opinions, and where leaders can leave room for their team members to learn from one another with openness and confidence.

In a "huddle," the leader or supervisor typically sets the agenda, much like a sports coach would, to then take a step back and engage every team member in the conversation, at times even delegating leadership of different parts of the meeting so different individuals in the group can take ownership of the topics. This is a way to empower everyone to voice their thoughts and create an atmosphere supported by unity and collaboration.

Team exercises designed to boost emotional intelligence, such as reflective listening and empathy training, can also empower leaders and their teams to embrace vulnerability as a catalyst for innovation and growth. The point isn't so much about how to create this type of culture but the importance of regularly taking intentional steps toward it.

Shifting the leadership paradigm

The leadership landscape screams for change, and this change is demanded by those in a position to decide which type of leaders to follow. Moving away from the outdated archetype of the solitary, all-knowing leader and embracing a model that values collaboration, emotional intelligence, and the strength to admit when help is needed will be crucial in the future. 

This paradigm shift, backed by experienced leaders like Simon Sinek, and evidenced in the realm of professional sports, holds the promise of a more adaptable, resilient, and human-centric approach to corporate and business environments.

By embracing this new narrative, leaders across all industries can reach new heights in terms of engagement, creativity, and performance within their teams. It's a journey that begins with a simple yet profound step--as Simon Sinek put it, "For any leader, being the smartest person in the room isn't important. What's most important is being the one willing to ask for help."