It Doesn’t Have to Be Lonely at the Top!
By Michael J Griffin
The adage is “the higher you climb, the lonelier it gets.” As a reader of the ELAvate leadership blog, I know you have already achieved success in your community and country. The climb up to success can lead to more contacts and recognition but fewer deeper, lasting healthy relationships.
Loneliness among senior executives is not just a personal issue; it has significant implications for their mental and physical health. Studies suggest that loneliness can have effects comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, impacting overall well-being and productivity.
This highlights the critical need for organizations to address the social and emotional needs of their leaders. As executives rise to higher positions, they often find themselves in more isolated roles. The demands of leadership can create barriers to forming meaningful connections with colleagues, leading to a sense of disconnection. This isolation can be exacerbated by the competitive nature of corporate environments, where vulnerability may be perceived as a weakness.
The loneliness experienced by CXOs can have broader implications for organizational culture and performance. Leaders who feel isolated may struggle with decision-making, creativity, and employee engagement. This can ultimately affect the overall health of the organization, as leadership effectiveness is closely tied to the ability to foster strong relationships and a collaborative work environment.
Let me give you some insights and ideas on avoiding loneliness with cultivating relationships that are fulfilling.
Build a Support Network – Keep Your Emotional Fuel “Topped up”
John Maxwell and Tim Elmore have developed a tool to assess your relationship quantity and quality. Their insight into “Emotional Fuel” focuses on these relationships in your life:
Your Heroes that inspire you to excel in your life.
Your Mentors who guide and nurture you for a wholesome, balanced life.
Your Coaches who develop your skills and competence at work and sports
Your Accountability Partners who keep you on track to be healthy mentally, emotionally physically, and possibly financially.
Your Mentees are people that you guide in life to leave a legacy.
Your Coachees are people whose “lid” you are lifting by upskilling them.
Your Inner Circle are those 3-5 people in your life that love and care for you no matter what happens. They are the ones you go to for important life decision.
Regularly engaging with this “emotional fuel” network to share experiences, seek advice, and foster connections can alleviate feelings of isolation. You can get your “Emotional Fuel” chart to map out your relationships here.
Join Professional Associations
Participating in industry-specific associations or groups can help CXO’s connect with other leaders facing similar challenges. These associations often provide networking opportunities, resources, and support systems that can combat loneliness and actually create environments where CXO’s can safely share their issues with other CXO’s. For those living in Malaysia or Singapore, I have had excellent personal growth by developing new cross-industry relationships with Vistage and EGN. For Indonesia, you may find the CastleAsia network does the same. Google Vistage or EGN to find out more.
Schedule Regular Check-Ins with the Rank and File
Make it a priority to schedule regular one-on-one or team meetings with the leaders and rank and file below you. These check-ins can help maintain relationships, provide support, and create a sense of community within the organization. Some ideas for regular “check-ins” can be to arrange to attend sales or service team meetings, visiting and having a walk around the factory floor, going out on joint sales meetings to meet with your important customers, and attend your corporate training programs as an active participant. I have seen some excellent CXO’s do this: Frank a CXO of a medical device company, Anthony, a COO of a global handphone company, Ramesh who was the CXO of a global AV organization, Emilani, a CXO in the field of medical solutions and Dr. John Maxwell who does this with a passion.
Practice Self-Care
Living in Singapore, I see many CXO’s and multi-millionaires who have spent their health to get wealth, and now, spend their wealth to get back their health. It is necessary for you to prioritize personal well-being through your own self-leadership on your self-care! If you have trouble here you may have your spouse or friend be your ‘accountability partner” in keeping you on track with your self-care. Some suggestions that have kept me very healthy at age 72:
Daily Morning Quiet Time. This can be meditation, prayer, or spiritual reading to get your mind and spirit into a more peaceful start of your day. It may also mean going to bed earlier so you have time to do this 3-6 times a week.
Regular Exercise that includes an aerobic component and with a sport you enjoy. For me, it is road biking at 500am in the morning. Forty years of cycling has kept me fit with great BP and I am not on any medication!
Eat Wisely. The older you get the more difficult it is to shed those unhealthy kilograms. Consistently enjoy good food (I love Nonya dishes!) but keep the portions smaller. And don’t forget a daily multivitamin.
Always Schedule Holidays in Advance. The world or your company won’t crash if you take the restful rejuvenating holiday. Learn to let go and enjoy holidays to places cultures or people you always have wanted to visit.
Taking care of your physical health can improve resilience against feelings of loneliness.
Develop Hobbies Outside of Work. Engaging in hobbies often involves joining clubs or groups where individuals can meet others with similar interests. This social interaction helps build friendships and a sense of community, reducing feelings of loneliness. You can just be let go of your CXO title and be yourself with your hobby friends. Hobbies also can boost your creativity and sense of camaraderie with people outside your industry.
Nurture the Volunteer Within You. Rather than just focusing on leading and managing profit, process, and people in your organization, why not find a volunteer focus you believe in that gives you meaning and purpose for your life beyond your name card. Think about it…. Some day you will retire, or be asked to retire from your position of power, prestige, and influence. Not preparing for this sunset phase of your life can lead to great loneliness, possible bitterness, and lostness with eventual health issues. Research and identify some organizations that you could volunteer for that align with your life ideals and mission. Then ask to volunteer your time, skills, and heart to eventually determine what volunteerism will give you a satisfying life of meaning in retirement. Just look at former USA president Jimmy Carter who had a much more enriching life after he retired!
I hope you found this blog helpful to prevent “loneliness at the top” now and into retirement. If you would like to discuss these ideas with me, send me an email and I would be glad to meet up with you for coffee or a virtual discussion.
Michael J Griffin
Founder &CEO of ELAvate
Maxwell EQUIP Volunteer
Man in the Mirror Volunteer
Slow but Steady Road Biker
+65-91194008 (WhatsApp)
michael.griffin@elavateglobal.com