“What Really Matters”
A Blog by Gary Burnison the CEO of Korn Ferry
Mike’s Note: I always enjoy Gary’s well written blogs. They are always from his heart to grow his readers as leaders. No product push, just reflections of his rich life experiences. This blog is about his reflections after his friend and colleague who recently passed away.
Our last conversation was just days ago—and it was a moment I will forever cherish.
I was speaking to a dear friend and colleague, Mark Arian, CEO of our Consulting business for nearly the last eight years. He knew and I knew that these would be our final words to each other—but we let that be unspoken.
He told me how blessed he felt to work with such incredible people—and equally how those same people touched his life. And, incredibly, in his very last words to me, he offered a wonderful blessing, part of his religious tradition which he held deeply.
The actual words are far too personal to share. But with his unfortunate passing, these sentiments will forever attest to the grace, love, and humanity that defined Mark.
During my life I’ve had these end-of-life conversations a few times with people I knew professionally and personally and who I held dear. No doubt, most of us have. What amazes me is that while I struggled to find the words, they never did. While the details are as unique as the individuals and their lives, the spirit of what they tell is profoundly similar.
They seem to see things so clearly—as if after the refiner’s fire, when all that is left is pure gold. What remains is complete clarity, reduced to our most natural form.
It’s also a reminder to all of us—of what matters most.
Yes, tomorrow is important but today is paramount.
As leaders, we try to predict tomorrow. But even more important is perceiving and appreciating today. And isn’t that all we ever have?
Indeed, abundance is not measured in titles, positions, and careers—that’s only what we do. What endures is who we are—our very essence:
Grace. Unearned and unmerited, it is a feeling, an action, a perspective, a virtue that rises above the rest. Mike’s Questions: How gracious and generous are you with your words and actions as a leader of influence? Do you regularly give recognition and affirmation to others or are you a “recognition miser?”
Empathy. Meeting people where they are—and, in every conversation, striving to help them feel better than they did before. Mike’s Question: How are you at expressing empathy truly from your heart to others’ situations, or, do blow off, ignore, their feelings and totally focus on the task and results?
Listening. Twice as much as we speak. Mike’s Question: 'We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak’ said Epictetus. Do actively care what others are saying to you? Are you curious to always learn from others? Or are you focused on only answering or rebutting what the other person has said.
Authenticity. The more we open up and share, the more relatable we are to others. Mike’s Questions: How secure and humble are you as a leader? Or are you hiding behind a mask of your position or authority to make up for your lack of authenticity?
Inclusiveness. Diversity is a fact, inclusion is a behavior … leading the many, while at the same time understanding the perspectives of all. Mike’s comment: Excellent insight from Gary. Being inclusive with people different than yourself is a behavior of gracious, global leaders.
Purpose. Why we do what we do. It comes from being connected to something bigger than ourselves. Mike’s comment: John Maxwell revealed to me “If your purpose is only about yourself, it is too small. You need to discover a purpose or calling bigger than you to make a difference in this world.” Have you a purpose in your life that leads to eternal significance?
Love. Here is a timeless truth that resonates deeply: When we tell people, “We couldn’t have done it without you,” what we’re really saying is, “You are loved.” Mike’s comment: WOW! As a leader of influence, do regularly express sincere love and appreciation to others you interact with? Do your words and actions tell others “You are worthy, you are loved.”
Powerful and intrinsic, these motivators istill the essence of our shared humanity. Because when the varnish comes off, the façade fades—these are the desires we all share. To belong, to make a difference.
Indeed, that’s what really matters.
Just as I was concluding this message, I was reminded yet again—when I learned of another loss suffered by someone on our leadership team. Linda Hyman, our CHRO, lost her husband, Ken. Theirs was a long and strong partnership of more than 50 years.
Whether we’re immersed in warmth and love or burdened by heartache and tragedy, each day starts the same for all of us. With every sunrise, we have a choice of how we show up—to be there for each other.
Mike’s Final Comment: Remember readers, the author is a CEO of a publicly listed company. Isn’t is a real blessing to be inspired by his authenticity? Wouldn’t you want to work for him? Are you the kind of secure, authentic leader as he in your daily life?
Michael J Griffin
CEO and Founder of ELAvate
Associate Trainer for Korn Ferry
Maxwell Leadership Founding Member