How’s Your Sales Emotional Intelligence: Helping You and the Customer Advance the Sale or Kill it?
By Michael J Griffin with AI Research
The ability of B2B salespeople to drive customer collaboration and secure agreement hinges not only on product knowledge and selling skills, but crucially on their mastery of Emotional Intelligence (EI). The five widely recognized dimensions of EI—self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills—play distinct, interlocking roles in influencing a salesperson’s effectiveness at progressing deals from initial contact to a successful close.
Emotional Intelligence is a critical differentiator for B2B salespeople, profoundly impacting their ability to foster collaboration and successfully close deals. Unlike B2C selling, B2B sales often involve complex solutions, multiple stakeholders, and lengthy sales cycles, making emotional intelligence acumen vital to winning customer trust to closing mutual beneficial deals. Having good EI across the 5 dimensions is a competitive advantage. Let’s explore the five. I also give you my EI scores (out of 100) for each dimension below
Self-awareness is the foundational dimension, enabling salespeople to understand their own emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. A self-aware salesperson recognizes how their mood, tone, or body language might influence a client interaction. For instance, if a salesperson senses frustration building during a tough negotiation, their self-awareness allows them to pause, re-center, and adjust their approach rather than reacting impulsively, which can easily erode customer trust: this control prevents unintentional signals that could create distrust or push a client away, thereby maintaining an environment conducive to collaboration. Mike’s score: 98
In B2B sales and negotiation, self-aware salespeople are better equipped to manage their responses during complex negotiations or multi-personality buying committee discussions. They recognize their own emotional triggers—such as frustration if a customer resists agreement—and are less likely to react defensively or let ego interfere. This conscious reflection allows salespeople to remain focused on customer needs, foster trust, and avoid unproductive confrontations that can kill the sale.
Following self-awareness, Self-Regulation empowers salespeople to manage their emotions and impulses effectively. In B2B sales, this is crucial when facing objections, scepticism, or unexpected or unrealistic customer demands. Instead of becoming defensive or flustered, a self-regulated salesperson remains calm and composed. This emotional stability projects confidence and professionalism, reassuring the client that they are dealing with a reliable collaborative partner. By controlling their own reactions, salespeople can steer conversations constructively, transforming potential conflicts into opportunities for deeper understanding and collaborative problem-solving, which is essential for moving towards a close.
In B2B sales, long sales cycles, multiple stakeholders with different communication styles and needs, and high-value deals can create stressful, contentious environments. Salespeople who practice self-regulation are able to maintain professionalism, even when negotiations stall or objections arise. Instead of pressing too hard or offering unnecessary discounts out of anxiety, self-regulated sellers respond thoughtfully—maintaining a constructive tone, pausing as needed, and signalling reliability. This leads to more productive profitable Win3 deals for both the customer, salesperson and his/her organization. Mike’s score: 68 – a bit below average - need to work on this!
Motivation in EI—especially intrinsic motivation—drives a salesperson’s resilience, optimism, and energy throughout the B2B sales process. B2B sales are characterized by long cycles and frequent setbacks. A highly motivated salesperson isn't deterred by initial rejections or stalled deals; instead, they view these as challenges to overcome. This intrinsic drive fuels persistence, consistent follow-up, and the creativity needed to find alternative paths to collaboration. Their positive outlook can be infectious, influencing the client's perception of the partnership and solution, making them more inclined to commit to move the sale ahead. Their goal-oriented mindset translates to proactive behaviors, such as thorough research, follow-ups, and innovative solution proposals. I also believe this dimension inspires the salesperson to be “Antifragile” (Nassim Taleb), curious to explore and be a continuous learner who thrives on challenge and improvement.
Mike’s score: 100 very motivated!
Empathy or Social Awareness, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is arguably the most powerful EI dimension in B2B sales. In fact, our research from when I worked at AchieveGlobal, shows that salespeople who appropriately and consistently empathize with customers double their chances of moving the sale ahead compared to salespeople who do not! Salespeople who demonstrate empathy ask insightful questions, listen actively, often discerning opportunities or needs to tailor their communication, connection and solution to align with each customer’s unique context. When clients feel truly valued and appreciated, their defences lower, fostering a collaborative spirit. This emotional connection builds profound trust, making clients more willing to share critical information and work together towards a mutually beneficial closing agreement. This creates a feeling of being understood and valued—key drivers of customer willingness to collaborate. When conflicts or objections surface, empathy allows salespeople to “meet customers where they are,” address concerns compassionately, and guide discussions toward win-win outcomes. Having “agile empathy” is a big plus in multi-decision-maker, buying committees where empathy must be expressed across a range of stakeholder emotions and needs to move all to advance the sale. To paraphrase Dr. John Maxwell’s Law of Connection for sales, “Salespeople must inform their head(logic), touch their heart(emotions) before customers give them a hand (commit to move the sale ahead).” Mike’s score is 73 – spot on average.
Social Skills and Regulation encompass a salesperson's ability to manage and nurture healthy relationships and build networks. This dimension links all other EI components together with selling skills, enabling effective communication, influence, teamwork and conflict resolution. Salespeople with strong social skills can build rapport quickly, navigate complex organizational structures, and facilitate consensus among diverse stakeholders within a client's company. In multi relationship-driven B2B settings, strong social skills help salespeople facilitate open discussion between multiple stakeholders, bridge differences, and articulate the path forward in clear, compelling ways. Salespeople who excel at creating positive interpersonal connections find it easier to foster a collaborative negotiating climate, align customer teams, negotiate and broker agreements that satisfy all parties leading to healthy long-term customer relationships. Mike’s score – 78% above average.
Conclusion
When B2B salespeople leverage all five dimensions of Emotional Intelligence, they become not only problem-solvers but are perceived as loyal, trusted advisors who can guide stakeholders through complexity, cultivate collaboration, and close deals that deliver mutual Win3 value. Emotional intelligence transforms the sales process from a transactional exchange into a consultative partnership—building the foundation for healthy, long term customer relationships and repeat business.
Next Steps – Free Sales EQ profile
We, at ELAvate, believe the combination of improving salespeople’s emotional intelligence with solid Consultative Selling Skills can give your sales team a strong competitive advantage. To get you inspired to move forward, we are offering a free TTISI Sales EQ Profile for the first 12 sales blog subscribers who contact me by email at michael.griffin@elavateglobal.com. After completing the online assessment, we will send you your Sales EQ profile.
Michael J Griffin
CEO and Founder of ELAvate
Improving my EI as Mike Ages!
Global Sales Productivity Consultant
Maxwell Leadership Founding Member
+65-91194008 (WhatsApp)