10 Effective Tips for Persuading Others, According to a Behavioral Scientist
By J.C. McKissen
“It’s a fact that the ability to influence and persuade others is simply not a ‘nice to have’ anymore,” says Steve Martin, faculty director of behavioral science at Columbia University’s School of Business and CEO of Influence at Work. Martin is also the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including Messengers: Who We Listen To, Who We Don't and Why.
In his LinkedIn Learning course, The 10 Essentials of Influence and Persuasion, Martin shares insights on how you can improve your ability to influence and persuade others.
And influencing and persuading others is what sales is all about.
Here are Martin’s ten essentials:
Essential Persuasion Tip #1: The “compared to what” effect.
“One of the more common mistakes we make when attempting to influence and persuade others is to fall into the trap of thinking that all we need to do to get them to accept our proposal is to provide them with some good information and perhaps a reason why,” says Martin.
Persuading others requires much more than data, no matter how compelling the facts may be.
“It’s not the merits of our message that lead to success,” adds Martin. “The context in which our message is delivered matters.”
For sellers, placing your solution in the right context often means making the right comparison. Positioning your solution against a more expensive, untested, or less robust solution will help buyers understand the value you can deliver.
In isolation, that value can be much harder for buyers to identify.
Essential Persuasion Tip #2: The power of generosity.
“The act of giving to others is central to the human condition and has a particular relevance when it comes to influencing others because the people that we provide help and assistance to first are by and large more inclined to stand ready to help us in return,” says Martin.
Psychologists call this concept the “Norm of Reciprocity.”
You may know the concept as the “Golden Rule.”
Treating others the way you would like to be treated is foundational to becoming a great seller. That may seem like a cliche, or simplistic advice, but as a seller, it may be time to ask yourself a question: How do you like it when you receive unwelcome outreach?
“The most effective persuaders aren’t those people who ask themselves, ‘who can help me?’” Martin added. “Instead, they’re the folks who ask, ‘Who can I help first?’”
Essential Persuasion Tip #3: Personalize to persuade.
“At the root of successful persuasion lies an inescapable truth: it’s personal,” says Martin. “Why? Well, because people’s attention is invariably directed toward those things that seem relevant and personal to them.”
As a seller, how often have you received a message that didn’t seem remotely personalized? How often have you sent a message without personalizing the content toward the recipient?
Spray-and-pray messages almost never work. They are the opposite of a deep sales approach that allows sellers to break through the overwhelming amount of noise that exists in today’s market.
The positive impact of personalized communication is one reason great sellers are also great researchers.
Essential Persuasion Tip #4: Seek uncommon commonalities.
“Although opposites do sometimes attract, the road to ‘yes’ is reached much more frequently and directly through commonalities,” says Martin. “Highlighting the shared interests, similar values, common backgrounds, and comparable tastes that you genuinely share with an individual or a group that you want to influence is important, particularly in the early stages of your relationship with them.”
While this may seem obvious, Martin argues that truly persuasive individuals approach creating common ground differently than most of us do.
“The accomplished influencer digs deeper,” adds Martin. “When they seek to connect with those they want to influence, they don’t merely look for commonalities. They look for uncommon commonalities.”
Uncommon commonalities are experiences, interests, and traits we share with others that are relatively rare. As unlikely as it may seem, a shared love of early 90s professional wrestling or a shared birthday can create the opportunity to persuade and influence someone.
Sharing an uncommon interest speeds up relationship building and makes it easier for us to genuinely like someone else.
How can sellers identify uncommon commonalities?
By avoiding shallow sales techniques, doing your research, taking the time to get to know your prospect, and asking the right discovery questions.
Essential Persuasion Tip #5: Create an influential introduction.
“The way you are introduced can have a dramatic impact on whether your request is accepted,” says Martin. “This is because people will often be persuaded by a recommendation or proposal if they see it came from someone they regard as a legitimate and knowledgeable expert.”
One strategy Martin recommends, if possible?
Have a colleague or mutual acquaintance make the introduction.
“It’s tough starting a meeting or a presentation by telling the very people you want to influence that they should listen to you and be persuaded by your arguments because of your greater knowledge, your expertise, and your training,” adds Martin. “We need to find a way to take the ‘self’ out of self-promotion.”
But what if you are new to sales, and don’t have a dazzling bio to include in your introduction?
Martin provides a tip: research has shown that audiences respond favorably to the notion of “potential.”
If you aren’t able to talk about how much you’ve accomplished already, it’s okay–and perhaps even preferable as a seller–to talk about your potential ability to have a positive impact on the person you’re trying to persuade.
Essential Persuasion Tip #6: People proof = people power.
“Following the choices, actions, and behaviors of others is often a reliable means to an efficient and quick decision,” says Martin. “Psychologists call this social proof.”
Sellers have another way to describe social proof: customer success stories, or testimonials.
“What’s great about this approach is that you don’t have to rely solely on your own powers of persuasion,” adds Martin. “You can benefit from the power of others.”
Martin provides an important tip that will help make your social proof more effective: Make sure your testimonial or customer success story aligns with the prospect you're trying to persuade.
“However tempting it might be to use that testimonial that you are proudest of to influence a new client, you’re probably going to be more effective using a testimonial that most closely resembles their actual circumstances,” Martin said.
Essential Persuasion Tip #7: Three charms, four alarms.
“Whilst many people will say that they need to see more information and data in order to be persuaded, the reality is often quite different,” says Martin. “As a result, just delivering more and more content is unlikely to have any meaningful impact on your ability to persuade and influence others.”
While the right amount of content needed to persuade someone depends on the audience, research has shown that one approach may be more effective than others.
A study done on the effectiveness of a wide variety of advertisements found three was the optimal number of reasons given to choose the product. If the advertisement gave over three reasons, it actually became less effective and produced more skepticism than acceptance.
Researchers conducting this study gave the rule they discovered a name: three reasons charm your prospect, but four will alarm them.
“This three charms but four alarms rule serves as a useful reminder of how easy it can be to fall into a trap of thinking that if we simply provide more and more reasons, then that will lead to more and more influence,” adds Martin.
This rule illustrates an important rule many sellers will recognize: overselling can be just as harmful as underselling.
Essential Persuasion Tip #8: Progress is power.
“What’s the best way to maintain momentum and to ensure that each and every interaction with a potential client or target builds on the last? One way is to harness the power of progress,” says Martin.
Most sales won’t happen in just one interaction. Instead, they often occur after a series of conversations with several decision-makers.
If this describes your typical sales process, then Martin offers an important principle sellers should remember.
“Make sure to signal to those that you are trying to influence the headway that you are both making together,” says Martin. “When you face situations where you need to influence and persuade others, and you know that you’ll need to have a number of interactions with people before you get the deal closed or you get an agreement finalized, it makes good sense to signal the progress you are making at the start of every meeting or interaction, to make sure that your plan stays on track.”
For sellers, signaling progress also helps create the feeling that the seller and buyer are aligned and on the same team–which makes closing a deal even more likely.
Essential Persuasion Tip #9: Humanize to persuade.
“From political speeches to TED talks, successful influencers recognize that providing information and facts alone rarely moves an audience,” says Martin. “That’s why looking for ways to humanize your message or proposal can be so effective.”
Every seller knows how important good storytelling is to their success–especially stories that place your solution within a more humanized context.
But why?
“Psychologists argue that when we’re exposed to arguments based on logic and fact, it’s generally easier to be naturally dubious and skeptical about what’s being said,” Martin says. “By humanizing our messages, we alter the way in which information is processed.”
Martin provides a recommendation for anyone wanting to influence someone: inject a little humor into your pitch.
“When business development professionals included a funny cartoon from a Dilbert strip at the beginning of an interaction, not only did the recipient rate the sender as more trustworthy, when it came to awarding them business, they spent 15% more with the group that took that extra step to humanize their initial email,” Martin said.
Essential Persuasion Tip #10: Know the power of a good ending.
“First impressions matter–of course they do,” says Martin. “But what happens at the end of an experience is usually much more important and certainly much more memorable.”
People rarely remember every moment of an experience. Instead, their feelings are shaped by specific, important moments that occur within the whole of an experience.
“Research shows us that there are two key moments that have a disproportionate influence on our memories,” says Martin. “The first is when we experience the most pleasure or pain. The second is how the experience ended. Psychologists call this peak-end effect.”
Two tips that will help sellers create a persuasive ending?
Reiterate the point(s) you want your prospect to remember.
And always leave your audience wanting more.
Summary and Takeaways
In his LinkedIn Learning course, The 10 Essentials of Influence and Persuasion, behavioral scientist Steve Martin shares insights that can help sellers become more persuasive.
And a persuasive seller is a seller who closes more deals.
By following Martin’s advice, sellers can exert more influence, grow their book of business, and ultimately crush their quota.
Remember:
Make your solution stand out by comparing it to a lesser alternative.
No matter what you call it, the Golden Rule is golden for a reason. Adhering to it will make a more persuasive seller, and a better human being.
Personalized messaging = more influential messaging.
Use research and the right discovery questions to identify uncommon commonalities.
The right introduction helps smooth the path to influence.
Applicable customer success stories can leverage other voices in a way that helps you become persuasive.
Three reasons will help sell your solution. Four reasons might kill the whole deal. Remember the rule: three charms, four alarms.
At the beginning of your second meeting, remind your buying committee of the progress that was made in the first meeting. At the beginning of your third meeting, remind them of the progress that was made in the second meeting. Keep giving progress updates, right up until you close the deal.
Humanize your message. One good way to do that is through the use of humor.
Always remember the power of a good ending.