Don’t Waste Your Stressful Experiences, Learn and Grow!

By Michael J Griffin

7 minute read

All of us are emerging from Covid for better or for worse. On the horizon, we see inflation, chaos and the continual noise of negative and amplified social media. As you and I finish off 2022, I want you to reflect on how you have grown or possibly regressed through Covid and experiences of 2021 - 2022. If you decide to do this, have a pen and paper ready to record what you have learned, how you have grown, and what you might do differently in the future.

Over the past two years I have encountered the stress and pain over these experiences:

• Part ways with my training principal after 30 years’ relationship

• Gone through a divorce after 27 years of marriage

• A business collapse through Covid

• A loved one falling into addiction

• A thyroid health problem, now cured

• Staff and staff family members dying of Covid

• Helping my daughters cope with care for my ex-wife with stage 4 brain cancer

• And tax problems with the USA IRS

So how am I doing after all this? Quite well actually as these stressful experiences have led to my personal growth to be a better person who lives his life mission to equip others to be a leader that makes the world a better place! I always remember this quote that I learned:

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

Charles R. Swindoll

How you react to your stress and pain is the key that unlocks the door to growth and healthy relationships or the prison that traps you in bitterness, depression or anger leading to destructive hurts, habits, and hang-ups. The choice is always yours as are the consequences or positive outcomes of your choice.

One choice I did not make was at my birth. I was born with Amniotic Band Syndrome which caused me to be born missing portions of my fingers. The good news is I have both my thumbs and both hands are different in anatomy causing me to be creative in how I use each hand to accomplish manual tasks. No poor me, but I learned to focus on my strengths early on as a teenage entrepreneur, an ice hockey player, and eventually a global trainer/speaker/motivator.

The Covid Pandemic caused problems in my life that were sometimes stressful but my reaction to them supported my growth as a better person.

• Parting from my training principals allowed me to launch the successful ELAvate brand for leadership, sales and public speaking training, and, no royalty payments.

• The divorce was painful. It did though force me to face up and accept responsibility for the mistakes I made in my marriage that contributed to the divorce. This helped me not to be bitter and forgive myself and my ex for the damage done. I am more than willing to help my daughters care for my ex with stage 4 cancer.

• The business collapse as a huge blessing! I could not travel and therefore got to put my time and love into raising my grand daughter Lara whose father is absent. This has made me more patient, caring, and enjoying “parenting” the second time around. What fun and joy I have had with Lara.

• Staff and parents of staff dying of Covid really upped my listening that led to me on the path of being less a driven performance boss to a more empathetic leader.

• My thyroid problem was caused by family stress and not paying attention to my health. This trigger has resulted in my curing it and getting back on the bicycle. My cycling is my stress reliever, and my quiet time at 5:00 am in the morning. This last September I rode my bike 100 miles in 7 hours. Fit and healthy!

• The family stress and loved one falling into addiction resulted in me reassessing my close relationships and what healthy boundaries I needed in my life. Helping someone with this mental illness has upped my patience and proactiveness.

Let me leave you with a few quotations to motivate you to review the pain, stress, trials, and tribulations you may have had over the past years.

“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”
Andrew Bernstein

“Stress acts as an accelerator: it will push you either forward or backward, but you choose which direction.”
Chelsea Erieau

“When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question: Will this matter in 5 years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go.”
Catherine Pulsifer

“Times of stress are also times that are signals for growth, and if we use adversity properly, we can grow through adversity.”
Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski

 “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
—Albert Einstein

Recently I read a blog by Rick Warren about learning and growing from stressful and painful experiences. At the end of the blog he listed out a number of questions you may ask yourself to grow and learn from the tribulations in your life. Here they are for you to reflect, learn and grow from each of your stressful experiences:

What did I learn about what matters most?
What did I learn about what matters least?
What did I learn about my weaknesses?
What did I learn about my strengths?
What did I learn about my relationships?
What did I learn about my pace of living?
What did I learn about God?
What did I learn about the world and the culture around me?
What did I learn about money?
What did I learn about happiness?

Rick leaves us with this “Remember, before you do a life reset after a season of crisis, loss, or trauma, write down all the lessons you’ve learned.”

Have a thoughtful weekend reviewing your life lessons as you move out of Covid.

Michael J Griffin
CEO and Founder of ELAvate
Life Long Learner who Fails Forward