The Art and Attitude of Navigating Through Your Failures
By Michael J Griffin
6-minute read
I recently read a blog from Gary Burnison, the CEO of Korn Ferry about failing and isolation and it inspired me to write this blog on the lessons I have learned from “failing forward” as John Maxwell puts it, and my mentors who were the “saints” who helped me succeed through and in spite of my failures. Honestly, I could write a book on all my failures, what I learned and how I bounced back, but the book would be way to long! Ho ho ho! First some quotations on failure to inspire you to read this primer to propel you through failure.
“Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward.” — John C. Maxwell
“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.” — John C. Maxwell
“Failure is simply the price we pay to achieve success.” — John C. Maxwell
“Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.” — Charles F. Kettering
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end.” — Denis Waitley
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill
“Learn to fail with pride – and do so fast and cleanly. Maximize trial and error – by mastering the error part.” — Nassim Nicholas Taleb
“Failure saves lives. In the airline industry, every time a plane crashes the probability of the next crash is lowered by that.” — Nassim Nicholas Taleb
One big revelation I learned about failing is not to isolate and fall into a pity party. Let me reframe Gary Burnison’s ideas of fear as they relate to failure.
Understand your fear of failures. It starts with a question: What am I afraid of? Once you name the fear, we can begin to uncover how it drives your behaviors. Then, instead of merely reacting, begin to act with intention. And after all, it could be that failure as we know it is only failing to fail.
Reframe the fear of failure. Failure may be in your top fears, but it doesn’t have to isolate you from others. What matters most are not our fears or even the moments of failure—what counts is what we do afterwards. Find those trusted people to help you recover from your failure.
Give yourself some grace when you fail. No one is infallible—and that includes you. Grace moves us forward—elevating not only ourselves, but others. For leaders there is only one road, and that’s the high road of failing forward. Learn to forgive yourself, admit your mistakes, make amends with others, and ask for forgiveness.
I currently do volunteer work in a drug rehab centre in Malaysia. Every day I am there to train, we start our morning session with each drug addict telling at least three other recovering addicts “I have failed, but I am not a failure.” This continually reinforces the message of no pity parties, no blaming others, but reframing our failures so we can begin to positively fail forward to return as a healthy member of society.
Another session I conduct for leaders at Vistage Malaysia is how to be “Antifragile” a term coined by author Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Antifragile leaders learn to accept chaos, confusion in life as the opportunity to “thrive” through chaos and failure rather than collapse or just only survive. Let’s review three of Nassim’s strategies to thrive and fail forward through seasons of failure and the chaos it can bring.
Embrace Discomfort & Uncertainty
Antifragile leaders view uncertainty found in failure as an opportunity for growth and adaptation. They cultivate a mindset of curiosity, open-mindedness, and a willingness to explore challenge & new possibilities to fail forward.
Build Resilience and Strong Networks:
Antifragile individuals actively seek exposure to stressors, challenges, and diverse experiences to strengthen themselves through times of failure and chaos. They develop robust physical, mental, and emotional health to bounce back stronger from the adversity that accompanies failing. They have a strong inner circle of mentors and coaches to rely on. When you fail, don’t isolate, but seek secure trusted coaches and mentors to support your failing forward back to a healthy more successful life.
Learning from Failures and Mistakes:
Failing forward starts with an attitude, perception and vision of climbing out of the failure pit to thrive rather than just survive . As Gary said, “give yourself some grace.” Antifragile individuals perceive failure as a valuable source of feedback and learning. Be open to receive feedback and improvements. Experiment, and adjust your strategies based on the insights gained from your setbacks. Learn from your mistakes and hopefully not repeat them.
Let’s wrap up with a summary of Dr. John Maxwell’s evergreen book “Failing Forward.” Here are 10 key principles from John Maxwell lessons from failure:
Redefine the Failure - Failure isn't the opposite of success; it's a stepping stone to success. The difference between successful and average people is how they perceive and respond to failure.
Take Ownership and Responsibility - Stop blaming external circumstances or other people. Accepting personal responsibility for failures is the first step toward learning from them.
Failure is not Final - One setback doesn't define your future. Many successful people failed multiple times before achieving their goals. Abraham Lincoln is a fine example of resilience through his failures.
Learn from Your Mistakes - Every failure contains valuable lessons. The key is extracting those lessons and applying them going forward rather than simply repeating the same errors. Steve Jobs bounce back is a good example.
Take Risks despite Fear - Playing it safe guarantees you'll never fail, but also guarantees you'll never achieve anything significant. Successful people act despite their fear of failure. Gary Burnison has applied this to become the CEO of Korn Ferry.
Perseverance Matters more than Talent - Persistence and the willingness to keep going after failures often matter more than natural ability. Nassim Taleb takes it a step further: cultivate your resilience to “thrive” rather than just survive through failure.
Fail Early and Often - The sooner you fail, the more time you have to learn and adjust. Small failures early prevent catastrophic failures later. Learning to play a new sport brings this idea home. Correct your mistakes early to excel in the game.
Attitude Determines Outcome - Your response to failure—whether you see it as catastrophic or educational—largely determines whether you'll ultimately succeed. I agree that your attitude to learn and thrive from your failures is crucial for a healthy life. And a good dose of humility helps!
Build on Small Wins - Success is built incrementally. Each small victory, even after failures, builds momentum and confidence. I have learned this in my career in sales. I also see this process work in rehab.
Surround Yourself with the Right People - Supportive people who believe in you help you bounce back from failures, while negative influences can compound the damage. Get friends, coaches, bosses, spouses that believe in you and support you through thick and thin!
If you would like to build antifragile attitudes and resilience in your team, I regularly conduct these one day seminars:
How to Become Antifragile: The Seven Strategies for Thriving Through Chaos and Failure
Personal Strategies for Navigating Change: Coaching Yourself and Others
Leading Others Through Change: The Skills, Processes and Strategies of Successful Organizational Change
Fail Forward, Become Antifragile, Give Yourself some Grace and learn to Thrive through Failure.
Michael J Griffin
A Fail Forward Founder of ELAvate
A Leader on the Journey of Humility
A Student of John Maxwell
michael.griffin@elavateglobal.com
+65-91194008 (WhatsApp)