The Inverse Relationship Between Technology and Emotional Intelligence
A TEDx Talk by Dr. Tim Elmore
Mike’s notes: Tim Elmore is one of my leadership heroes for two reasons: firstly, his inspiring public speaking and teaching are golden lessons for me, and, secondly, his passion for developing young people as future leaders in high school and university resonates with our ELAvate mission to equip and inspire leaders of all ages. I was researching him for storytelling advice but instead came across his TEDx talk. This has led me to lead you to view his TEDx talk and digest some research on hand phone & social media use by pre-teen youngsters.
Dr. Tim Elmore’s 2019 TEDx talk, “The Inverse Relationship Between Technology and Emotional Intelligence,” explores the paradoxical effects of rapid technology adoption on the emotional and relational skills—especially among younger generations. Elmore, a bestselling author and founder of Growing Leaders, Inc., draws on research, real-world experience, and compelling stories to argue that as our dependence on “smart” devices increases, our collective capacity for emotional intelligence (EQ) tends to decrease. A central theme is the “inverse relationship”: as technological access, speed, and usage go up, core components of emotional intelligence go down.
Elmore begins by highlighting the many advantages of modern technology: connectivity, access to information, and increased productivity. Yet, he warns that these benefits come with unexpected costs. The most significant downside, he suggests, is that technology—especially smartphones—provides constant stimulation that can undermine crucial “soft skills” like empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication. Elmore refers to today’s youth as “screenagers,” pointing out that their comfort with continuous digital engagement leaves them less practiced in face-to-face interactions and less sensitive to emotional cues in real conversations.
Citing findings like diminished attention spans, reduced face-to-face communication skills, and lower levels of empathy, Elmore argues that heavy digital use trains people to multitask and absorb snippets of information but not to actively listen or respond with compassion. He cites research indicating that students today often test lower in empathy compared to previous generations and have experienced a marked shift toward an external locus of control—they feel less agency in managing their own resilience and circumstances in a world of overwhelming inputs.
To illustrate, Elmore shares stories of students and professionals who excel in digital or technical abilities but struggle with essential relationship-building and teamwork skills. He observes that these struggles are not due to a lack of intelligence but rather a lack of practice—technology often replaces rather than reinforces the “strength and conditioning” exercises of navigating emotional and social challenges in person. He has written a book on this called “Artificial Maturity” on how young people are technologically competent but relationally/emotionally immature. Before you view the stimulating Elmore TEDx video YouTube link, take another two minutes and read on…..
Mike’s input: About two months ago, I was with my 7-year-old granddaughter, Lara, in McDonald’s and there was a schoolmate named Anita with her father. As we sat down, Lara and I said hello with only her dad responding as Anita was thoroughly absorbed on playing a video game on her handphone. A few minutes later, Anita’s father attempted to have her stop playing the video game, but Anita then slapped her father in the face! We were shocked at the lack of respect but also on the power of “technology addiction” in this young child. The next Saturday, Lara invited Anita over to play. Later that evening, Lara met me and was flabbergasted that all Anita wanted to do when with Lara was to play her handphone games and ignore Lara. Later, Lara told me she did not want Anita as a friend.
I then began to research the negative impact and risks of technology on the young (pre-teens) and here is what I found by Taylor and Francis Group, The American Psychology Association and others:
Increased risk of mental health issues: A 2025 study found that individuals who got a smartphone before age 13 reported higher rates of suicidal thoughts, aggression, and hallucinations as young adults.
Negative impacts on self-perception: Both boys and girls who started using phones early showed decreased self-worth and self-image. Girls also reported lower emotional resilience and confidence, while boys experienced less calmness, stability, and empathy.
Compounding factors: The problems are linked to a combination of issues, including increased exposure to cyberbullying, reduced sleep quality, and a deterioration of family relationships.
Vulnerability during developmental windows: Some research suggests that social media's impact is more significant during specific developmental periods, such as ages 11–13 for girls and 14–15 for boys, where higher social media use is linked to lower life satisfaction a year later.
Mixed findings: While some studies point to negative outcomes, other studies conclude the relationship between social media use and adolescent well-being is complex and not definitively harmful for all users. Some experts argue the focus should be on teaching healthy technology use rather than on outright restrictions, as restricting access could disconnect some vulnerable teens from supportive online communities.
View Tim Elmore’s TEDx Talk on YouTube here.
To access the research on pre-teen cell phone use:
May you review, reflect on Tim’s TEDx talk, my story, and the research cited here to take positive steps as a parent, teacher or supervisor to guide young people on their cell/hand phone usage as well as to provide them coaching on the relational skills and attitudes needed to develop positive self-worth and healthy relationships on their life journey.
Michael J Griffin
Founder and APAC CEO ELAvate
A Tim Elmore Habitudes Coach
Maxwell Leadership Coach
michael.griffin@elavateglobal.com
+65-9114008 (WhatsApp)