Dads, Be the Leader For Your Children! (Part 2)

In the previous post, I talked about the first two ‘Dad the Leader’ Applications on how you, as a father, can nurture your children to become successful leaders by being a leader to them yourself.

Today, I’ll be sharing the next two Applications.

Dad who Loves

Which would happen when your kids reach adulthood: “I adore and love my Dad”, or “I hate and despise him”? Your personal capacity to love your children greatly influences how they love and interact with others. We need to love and express love to our kids. Let’s see how we can be loving fathers.

1. Express Unconditional Love. Tell your kids individually you love them. “I love you. I am proud of you. You are precious to me. I really like you! I am so happy you are my kid!” Be it via text, phone call, or face-to-face, just do it;
2. Simply, hug your kids! Try it tonight;
3. BIG IDEA! Allow for mistakes. We all fail. Failure leads to success. When your kids fail, help them learn from it. Help your kids to ‘Fail Forward’. Do not berate or put down. Never get personal with parental criticism by saying, “You are so stupid and lazy!”
4. Affirm good attitudes and their inner qualities that align with healthy values;
5. Give honest praise when your kids do well. Don’t be a recognition miser. Let them know what you appreciate in their behavior;
6. If you have to correct, don’t scream or yell. Ask questions first to find intents or facts you may not know. Focus on the behavior or attitude that needs correcting, NOT their personality. Kids hate when Dad yells;
7. BIG IDEA! Determine each child’s “Love Language” and meet it regularly. Is your child’s love language, Service, Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch, or Affirmation?
8. Sometimes we want our kids to be what we could not be. Love and nurture your kids based on their uniqueness, personality and talents. Don’t try to redeem yourself by forcing your kids to be the person you think you failed to become; and
9. Read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

Dad who is Available and Around

The foundation of unconditional love is time. You don’t choose your children’s quality time, they do!

1. BIG IDEA! You can only give your kids Quality time out of the Quantity of time you give them. If you are too busy, or just not around enough, you will not get Quality Time with your kids. And they will be too busy for you when teen years arrive;
2. BIG IDEA! Many Dads say, “I will work hard now and spend time with my kids when they are young teenagers.” Big mistake. If you don’t make time when they are young, they will not want to hang around “Distant Dad” when they are older. Don’t blow it;
3. Make sure you take all your holiday time from your organization each year!
4. BIG IDEA! Take one holiday a year with the kids WITHOUT MOM. Give Mom a break and go out and have a fun adventure with your kids! Yes, be Dad the Explorer;
5. Put your cellphone away and don’t answer it when involved in playing, doing homework or having a discussion with your kids;
6. BIG IDEA! Dads, the best quality time is bedtime with your kids. Put them to bed every night, not Mom, not the servant... YOU! Stay with them, tell them stories, and be there until they fall asleep. Start when they are 2-3 years old;
7. Eat dinner as a family. This is especially important in the pre-teen years. Make it a discussion time, not an interrogation time. Let dinnertime be a time of sharing and affirming;
8. Make it to their sports and recitals. Showing up and showing you made time shows love and care! No man went to the grave saying, “I wish I had spent more time at work!”
9. Do not work on your days off – Sunday for most of us, leaders. The world will not collapse because you checked out to be with family. Be available just to hang out;
10. Listen to the song, “Cat in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin, for it will move you; and
11. Read Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Fail” by John Maxwell.

Continue to stay tuned for the next post where I’ll be touching on the final 2 Applications on being the leader for your children!