Dads, Be the Leader For Your Children! (Part 3)

I have shared with you the first four of the ‘Dad the Leader’ Applications on the previous two posts. In this post, I’ll be finishing the series by sharing the final two Applications in being a leader for your children.

Dad who Disciplines

Parents can be confused by all the theories, lessons, and advice on how to discipline kids. Let’s review some healthy ideas on the subject.

1. Remember to set healthy age-appropriate boundaries. Remember boundaries move as kids grow up, and kids will test your boundaries till they leave home;
2. BIG IDEA! It is much easier to lead and discipline if you first do it by your life example. If you smoke, it is difficult to tell your teenager to stop smoking!
3. Discipline with firmness and calm, respectful communication, and not anger to get their attention;
4. If you are not giving quality time to your kids and only swoop down for discipline, you will drive them away. Rebellion will be their motto;
5. You are seen as a just, fair and caring dad if you are giving good positive affirmation at more than double the rate of correction. Think about it, do you like a boss at work who only criticizes?
6. Use the “velvet glove.” Correct the kids’ behaviors. Criticizing your kids’ personalities “puts another brick in the wall” (courtesy of Pink Floyd).  Your tone, volume and facial expression tell more than the words;
7. Correct or discipline soon after the problem. Harboring bad feelings or fear of discipline only leads to resentment, indifference, volcanic anger or an eroding relationship; and
8. Email me for short summary lesson on “Giving Recognition” or “Giving Constructive Feedback”.

Dad, the Model of Humility

Men model humility? Do we need a miracle? NO! The best dads and mentors I have known are humble leaders.

Humility means having a proper perspective of ourselves, seeing ourselves as whom we really are (imperfect, incomplete men)! We need to recognize our strengths and acknowledge our weaknesses. I remember having to apologize to my daughter saying, “This is the first time I am being a parent. I am learning too.” Here are some ideas for humility.

1. Being humble is easier when Dad is secure in himself and his imperfections;
2. BIG IDEA! Dad is more humble when he has no resentments towards his own mother or father. Search your heart to see if you are carrying “Baggage” or “Parent Wounds” from your own upbringing;
3. Find a senior mature man as a mentor. Be humble enough to know sometimes you need help with being a Dad;
4. BIG IDEA! Show a serving attitude to your wife and their mother. Help around the home with chores. Serve Mom and your parents by helping in the family. Saying you are the breadwinner or rice bowl is a cop out;
5. Volunteer in your community and let your kids see your giving heart. Teach your kids how to donate time and money to worthwhile causes;
6. Live within your own means. Show your kids that they don’t need every toy or attraction. Don’t buy them every toy to make up for you not being around;
7. Never, ever use the divorce word on your wife or in front of your kids. Be more committed to the institution of marriage and family than your own ego and pride; and
8. Take your kids out for an activity that demonstrates charity, volunteerism, giving and caring.

I entrust you found some of these ideas and actions helpful. If you have questions, more ideas, comments, or just want to talk to me about being the Dad you want to be, drop me an email at griffin_michael@yahoo.com.

John Maxwell says,

“Success means having those closest to me love and respect me the most.”

Being a Dad, whose daughters know that he is not perfect, but still love and respect him much, is one of my greatest joys and blessings of my life. I want you to have the same relationship with your kids. Be a success, be a loving dad.

---

Intentional Living by John C. Maxwell

In the depths of our hearts, we all have a desire to live life with meaning and significance. We want to leave an impact, to make our lives on earth worthwhile.

What is a significant life to you? Do you think it is unachievable or do you worry that you need more money, greater power or brilliant ideas to truly make a difference?

John Maxwell believes the only thing you need to achieve significance is to be intentional. You just need to start taking the first step. Do not be mistaken between a life of good intentions and an intentional life. While almost everyone has good intentions, an intentional life has purpose, action and impact.

In his latest book, Intentional Living, John Maxwell will show you how to take that first step, the ones that follow, and inspire you on your journey to achieving a life that truly matters.

Get the book at SGD $25 and leave your legacy! We're offering a 10% discount off especially for our subscribers only. Email us for purchases or more information with the promo code ELAFREN.