How to Stay Open and Curious in Difficult Sales Conversations
By Michael Griffin adapted this from an article by Mónica Guzmán of Greater Good of Berkeley
5 minute read
I read this article by Monica Guzman and thought of how many times I have had hard, difficult conversations with customers who are indifferent or objecting to me or my solution. What interesting about these conversations is both the customer and the salesperson believe they are right in their perceptions.
Many times the conversation becomes a debate rather than a fruitful discussion to discover new ideas and ways to possibly solve a problem, change a perception, or simply move on and not burn bridges. Let’s look at the ways you as a salesperson can employ to remain open and create win-win collaborative conversations with your customers. They are taken from Monica’s book “I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times.”
To be most useful to our customers, our opinions and perceptions must be in curious conversation with each other. When we’re divided, it feels like it’s exclusively about stopping the other side so they might accept what we think is the solution. But at its core, serving our customers is about how we collaborate wisely, how we create solutions that support the customer in their priorities, problems and relationships. Customer success is also our success.
Be curious, you don’t know it all. The key is to focus on curiosity and full understanding of the customer attitudes, perceptions, problems and needs not a debate to prove your point. It’s the only approach that values the customer as a person by giving him/her the space to be who they are. Uncertainty that searches and asks questions for the customer’s needs gets there faster than certainty of pushing our solution as the only answer.
Share “snapshot” opinions. Your idea of a solution for the customer may not a final answer. It’s a snapshot of where your mind is right now. The most you can do to keep your opinions sharp and useful and to expose yourself to the new, the surprising, and the interesting information that the customer has yet to share.
If you come into a customer conversation holding your opinions on solutions more loosely, it can make it easier for the customer to explore each other’s perspectives, rather than take turns presenting and defending what you think is the solution. How do you do that? By offering your ideas as snapshots of what’s currently in your mind. Presenting ideas and solutions as changeable and movable from the start gives you room to revisit and rearticulate them as you hear what the customer is telling you.
Change the question. A handy way to switch from being out to prove your solution is best to being out to learn something is to change the question you’re trained on in conversation. If you want to be more curious when you talk to customers who think differently from you, don’t try to win or change minds. It’ll distract you from a more interesting and productive conversation that, incidentally, will be much more likely to end up changing minds. Ask permission to ask questions to find out more about the customer circumstances, problems and needs. Ask rather than push.
Listen longer. Your conversation with the customer is heating up and they’ve started to elaborate, and you can’t wait to jump in with your response, your rebuttal, your solution. It’s moments like these, though, where a little restraint goes a long way. Focus on listening ad finding out more rather than your perfect “solution rebuttal.” Effective salespeople usually spend 70% of their discussion time listening to customers and 30% talking.
Acknowledge. When you’re in conversation with a customer who disagrees with you, finding something you agree on is like building a basecamp partway up a mountain: You can climb higher faster. So if you listen for those points of agreement, then offer them into the conversation, you’re likely to give the whole effort a boost. “You know, I totally agree with that,” or, “that is an interesting insight,” or, “I can see how you feel that way.” Acknowledging demonstrates you listen, you care and respect what the customer is saying. This builds trust.
Hit reset. Sometimes, getting out of dead ends in sales conversation starts with starting over. If you’re in an in-person conversation, take a breath. Readjust, refocus to reset.
A reset is like a pit stop. You’re not off track. Just tuning up, possibly changing lanes. You may ask the customer permission to put aside a difficult issue (price for example), or position and bridge to a new topic or area to restart the conversation in an area of mutual value. Remember you eventually will have to address the “dead end” before the sales conversation is finished.
Agree with good points. Want to turn around a tough sales conversation where the customer just wants to win the debate? Try scoring points…for the other side. This is another behaviour that, when you model it, can spread. If you catch yourself thinking “That’s a good point” or “Sure, that’s fair,” to anything the customer says (start small if you need to; it builds with practice!)—offer that up before asking your next question or making your next point. This demonstrates your humility, shows respect, and builds customer openness allowing you probe for deeper insights into the customer situation.
Say “I don’t know” when you don’t know. It’s wacky how rare this is! But nothing blocks the escalation of a bad kind of win/lose customer conversation quite like admitting that, no, you don’t know everything (and neither does anybody else). A candid “I don’t know” is a signal that you’re not in it to win it or to seem impressive. In that sense, I find “I don’t know” to be the most critical honest answer to a question in a bridging conversation: It lets more curiosity flow from whoever wants to drop some knowledge. Customers want salespeople of integrity.
Difficult customer conversations are a reality. By practicing these behaviors with an attitude of curiosity can move both you and the customer from being adversarial to collaborative. It might save the sale.
Michael J Griffin
Founder ELAvate
Sales Productivity Coach
Maxwell Leadership Founding Member